Bisexuality and Beyond

Get this. It’s been only four months since same-sex marriage became legal in this country. It’s an exciting and hopeful time for the LGBTQA community. Marriage is available to everyone in love. It’s an exciting time for people who have fought so hard for acceptance, visibility, and respect. Gay celebrities grace covers of popular magazines instead of tabloids. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg in today’s ever-changing culture. Unfortunately, a group does get left out in the face of all of this change: bisexuals. There’s no bi-visiblity nowadays.

In September, a workshop called “Beyond Bisexuality 101″ caught my eye.  Nobody talks about it and that’s maybe why bisexuality feels almost taboo. Even though the workshop was in September, it also seems relevant, because human sexuality is always a table topic. It also seemed relevant, because I saw my progressing divorce as an opportunity to answer some questions about my sexuality. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I showed up and I could tell that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. The room was full of new and familiar faces, pizza, and a sense of nervousness and curiosity.

Robyn Ochs, speaker at the Bisexuality workshop

First, let’s talk about Robyn Ochs. She’s made a career as a super heroine for bisexuals. She married her wife the first day same-sex marriage became legal in Massachusetts. Does that make her a pretty gray-haired lesbian? No. She’s still a bisexual. Her work is fueled by her personal experiences as a 19-year-old woman BG (Before Google) who was suddenly attracted to a female. And she felt alone, attracted to both sexes and having zero access, support, or friends who identified the same way as her. It took her five years to find a fellow bisexual in the wild! Because of her experiences, it’s become a career, a passion of hers, her life’s mission, to talk about sexuality with the purpose of demolishing misconceptions and prying minds open.

When Robyn took the stage, she turned the tables and started asking the audience questions such as: “Let’s imagine a line with two different poles, straight on one side and gay on the other. What terms are used to describe the area between the two poles other than bisexual?” The answers were a long list, but some terms include swingers, heterosexuals, and gays. Robyn used that list to start talking.

“Sexuality is very complicated – it’s too complicated to categorize.” We lack words, terms, and signs because we do not talk about those topics. By sparking and continuing dialogue about sexuality, there will be increased understanding of the sexuality continuum. As a matter of fact, new terms keep popping up on tumblr, a popular social media platform among social justice activists. But let’s get real. Are all of those labels necessary? Read More…

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