Wednesday, February 19, 2014
“Your beauty, light and strength inspires me.” — “I like when you post self-affirmative thoughts.” — “I admire how you handle stress.” — “You are my role model.” — “I’m inspired how you can go through so much and still bake cookies, be there for your kids, husband, go to work, and still listen to other people’s problems. You are so strong!” — “Frowning doesn’t suit you.” — “Don’t cry, it doesn’t look good on you.” — “You look funny when you cry.”
I don’t want to be your source of inspiration and be placed on a pedestal of great “strength and resilience”. That damn pedestal only creates distance between you and me. To you, it may feel like we are connected, but not to me.
I feel lonely and isolated.
I don’t want to be admired from afar.
I need to FEEL that connection. closeness. emotional intimacy. engaging communication. you initiate contact and ask me questions. active listening. comfort me as I have comforted you. give and receive. receive and give.
celebrate my authentic self. don’t demand my silence.
I need to be seen as fully human.
I need to be seen as a person that cries. that aches. that feels lonely too often that I care for. that is an Orphan. that has an inner child that will always grieve for what will never be…
— “You have EXCELLENT self-care and coping skills!!!” —
Yes. Remember that the people you look up to and who support you are … people. They have their own feelings, and their own challenges. Thanks, Gwendolyn, for putting your needs on the table.